Armor Attack

A top-view maze game that nicely brings the horrors of war to the 9" Vectrex
screen. You get to drive a jeep around and blow stuff up real good -- mostly
tanks and helicopters. Well, actually, only tanks and helicopters. That's all
you get to do. Drive around and blow up tanks and helicopters. It's fun,
though. The graphics are swell, particularly the helicopter. It just needs more
variety.

Rating: B



Bedlam

Tempest in reverse. Your generic protaginist-type spaceship thing sits in the
middle of a geometric shape, blasting at the enemies that emanate from the
corners. In later levels, these shapes spin and contract, which doesn't do
much to alleviate the fact that this game is a real snoozer.

Rating: C-



Berserk

A pretty good translation of the classic arcade game (known for making
parents edgy due to it's somewhat reckless violence). The graphics are
detailed, which is nice, but the constant redrawing of these complex images
not only slows the action to a crawl but produces a nasty screen flicker effect
that will probably give you a seizure. And maybe it's just me, but it seems as
though Evil Otto makes his appearance sooner than in other versions of the
game.

Rating: C



Blitz! Action Football

Not nearly as bad as I would have expected, but bad nonetheless. It's overly
simplistic and slightly confusing, and let's face it, there's many things the
Vectrex does well, sports games are not among them. Your players' AI is
pathetic, but the programmers make up for it by allowing you to maneuver the
ball while it's in the air. So much for realism. Running plays have problems
as well -- the CPU opponent can basically give itself a burst of speed and
tackle you whenever it chooses (although it usually gives you some leniency).
If you think this is something you'd like, however, here's the instructions.

Rating: C-



Clean Sweep

Pac-Man with a vaccum cleaner in the starring role. No, really. Whereas
Pac-Man was capable of stuffing infinite power pellets in his hellish maw,
Clean Sweep's vaccum character can only hold a limited amount of money
(Clean Sweep's equivalent of Pac-Man's power pellets -- the scenario
arbitrarily takes place in a bank), meaning you'll have to empty it out in the
middle of the screen periodically. Weird jawlike creatures will be pursuing
you during all this, but there's powerups lurking in the four corners of the
room that will enable you to turn the tables on them (natch).

Rating: B-



Cosmic Chasm

One of the Vec's many, many Asteroids derivatives. This one is more
in-depth than the others -- you guide your little spaceship though some kind of
moon base -- each cavern in the base is filled with enemy drones and an
expanding core, and if you follow the map and blast through enough caverns,
you'll come the the power center of the base, where you have to set a time
bomb, then high tail it out of the base. Somehow, Cosmic Chasm manages to
be both fun and tedious at the same time.

Rating: C+



Dark Tower

Hey, if they found this one, maybe Tour de France and Mail Plane will be
next. Dark Tower (based on the board game of the same name) is a 3D
adventure/RPG that's well-made and involving, and sort of repetetive. You'll
spend a lot of time wandering through four different forests searching for
gold, keys, and wizards, and periodically dying for no apparent reason (the
"plague," which usually strikes in the Dead Tree Zone. I think we could have
lived without a random death mechanism). The battle sequences are
fast-paced and entertaining, and Dark Tower's graphics are great. It's
complex enough that you'll want instructions, too.

Rating: A-



Fortress of Narzod

A very well-executed Galaga-type shooter with angled walls that your
bullets ricochet off of. Trust me, this will cause you to die of your own hand
more than just once. The graphics on this one are great, but frequently dying
by your own bullets will get frustrating sooner or later. It's a good concept,
though, and the backgrounds are much better than the average Galaga clone.

Rating: B-



Heads-Up Action Soccer

A decent but stunningly generic sports game. With a few minor graphic
changes this could easily be Heads-Up Action Ice Hockey or Heads-Up
Action Basketball. I guess it's servicable if you're into this kind of thing, but
there's severe flaws in the CPU's AI that are easily exploited. Repeatedly
stealing balls and making goals will get tiresome if you're the only one that's
doing it.

Rating: C



Hyperchase

Not terribly hyper, and there isn't much chasing either, but it's kind of fun and
the graphics are okay. Extremely titchy control means you can expect to crash
a lot, especially when you shift to fourth gear and you tear past everything at
very unsafe speeds. Nice background graphics on this one.

Rating: C+



Minestorm

The excellent Asteroids clone that's built into the system. It's also one of the
few Asteroids knockoffs that's actually better than it's predecessor. The
graphics, control, and sound are all above average, and there's a number of
deadly enemies. A great choice for the system pack-in.

Rating: A



Polar Rescue

A terrific first-person-perspective submarine sim. It looks great, it sounds
great, it plays great. The bleak colorlessness of the Vectrex monitor actually
makes it more realistic than it would be on most raster-scan systems. The
docking sequence is sort of tricky, but the travelling and battle sequences are
good. Polar Rescue is complex enough that you might want instructions.

Rating: A-



Pole Position

Another grand prix sort of racing game, this one being a little slower and
cleaner than Hyperchase. Crash your car a few times, it's fun. Enjoy the big,
spastic explosions. Unfortunately, it's too generic for it's own good. Given
the choice, you'll probably turn to Hyperchase when you need a vector-based
racing game, despite it's screwy controls.

Rating: C+



Rip Off

Rip Off, indeed. Once again, we're treated to an Asteroids knockoff. The
twist in this one is that you have several triangular objects in the middle of
the screen that the various enemies are trying to steal. All you have to do is
keep these enemies from stealing your rare, valuable triangular things.
Interesting concept but it comes off pretty dull.

Rating: C-



Scramble

Cool conversion of the Konami arcade game which later evolved into
Gradius. It's a side-scrolling shooter with nice, varied terrain and enemies.
You have limited fuel for your ship in this game, and for some strange reason
you collect additional fuel by blowing up fuel drums. The physics of how
that works is beyond me. Once past the initial stages, the game turns into one
of those auto-scrolling obstalce courses that are so remarkably annoying. It's
executed well, though.

Rating: B



Solar Quest

Another day, another Asteroids ripoff. This one seems to have merged with
Space Wars. Unless you crave these kind of games, there's nothing too new
or exciting here. To be fair, it is well programmed.

Rating: C+



Space Wars

A fast paced, neat looking adaption of the first video game ever made. You
and another spaceship are locked in a duel near a very, very small sun.
Despite everything being really little, the graphics are nifty and it's brutally
addictive. The sun has gravity, a second person can play, it's all pretty damn
cool. The CPU makes a worthy opponent, which is always nice to see in
games of this type.

Rating: A



Spike

Another winner. Spike plays like Donkey Kong in 3-D and there's voice
synthesis. It isn't good synthesis ("Heeeghk! hhhlp, ffpiik!" "Hho nhho,
Pmaaaally!"), but it's there. Vox notwithstanding, Spike is very entertaining
and very well drawn, especially Spike himself. Here's instructions in case
you need 'em.

Rating: A-



Spinball

A pinball game that, oddly enough, plays a lot like real, tangible, genuine
pinball, from the physics of the ball to the jumpy bounciness of the bumpers.
And, just like real pinball, it gets distinctly uninteresting after a while. But,
that's not really Spinball's fault per se.

Rating: B-



Star Castle

Maddeningly addictive, just like crack. True, it's an Asteroids replication,
but it's one of the best of its kind. Your goal is to blast away at the three
rotating walls in the center of the screen and destroy the energy cannon
within. The energy cannon has slightly similar goals, and trust me, it's lasers
are a helluva lot bigger and faster than yours. However, it blows up
reeeeeeaaaaal good when you shoot it. The sprites are tiny, but you'll love it
anyway.

Rating: A



Star Hawk

This is about as fast and simplistic as it gets: you have 60 seconds to blast as
many alien invaders as you can. It looks good, but the gunsight control is
screwy (especially in game 2) and the premise gets old pretty rapidly.

Rating: C



Star Trek

Blast at ships from a first-person perspective, just like in Star Hawk but with
more variety. The goal is to find and destroy the Klingon mothership, which
seems like a bad idea to me 'cause if you destroy all the Klingons, fanboy
trekkies wouldn't have their language to obsess over. It's fast-paced and
entertaining, and the graphics are swell (the Klingon boss is particularly well
drawn, although it goes down in flames pretty easily). In case you need 'em,
here are instructions.

Rating: B+



Vector Vaders

After a twelve year drought, somebody finally made a new Vectrex game
(see kids, this is why it pays to know Assembly...). It's a good port of Space
Invaders, with nicely drawn graphics that tend to slow it down a little (but
when you're down to only one enemy, boy does it rip...). Overall, though, it's
pretty cool, and it's very faithful to the original. Here's more info on Vector
Vaders, its creator, and his other Vectrex projects.

Rating: B



Web Wars

An above-average pseudo-3-D shooter that often gets compared to Tempest.
It isn't anything like Tempest. In addition to blasting the standard-issue
mindless enemies, you have to capture wierd little creatures and deal with
some scaryass Cosmic Dragon. It gets intense in later rounds, but by that time
you'll be kind of bored by the monotony. You might want instructions for this
game.

Rating: B+


Dissenting opinions are welcome. Email me if you have comments about
these games.
(bpacula@hooked.net)
